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Day #277

Do you know that it has almost been a year since I restarted this crazy mess? And in that time, I’ve lost nearly 75 lbs. Roughly 40 inches. And I’ve still got a quarter of a year left. If I buckle down, who knows. I might hit 100 lbs gone and 50 inches. But. To do that, I really need to get back to focusing on what really counts and matters most. I need to start working out again.

Don’t get me wrong! I am so happy to say that not only have I maintained since I stopped focusing on weight loss, I have actually continued to lose. But the losses have been slow and the toning has been sub par. I want to end this year of effort on a high not, not on a sub par one. So, back to the basics when it comes to getting in my workouts, then.

And I’ve got a great target date in mind for a change. Emerald City Comic Con. I have 64 days until Comic Con.

64 days!

Do you that’s a little over nine weeks? Do you know that if I lose just 1.5 lbs a week for those nine weeks I could hit 175 lbs? More importantly, if I can average 2.5 lbs a week between now and April 21, 2015 (which is my one year anniversary) I’d have lost 100 lbs. Is that possible? Is that really possible? I don’t know. I honestly have no idea. But I do know that it’s worth a shot. At the very least, it would be nice to see 175 lbs and maybe even a 34 inch waist by then. It’d be even better to see a muffin top that annoy me. So, as I said, it is time to refocus my energies. Yes, it is going to be rainy and cold and finding daily light to walk Luna in is going to be slow going but I need to make the time for myself again that I made over the summer. It’s important!

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Posted by on January 23, 2015 in Life - Among Other Things

 

Day #233

So I just learned that the my current favorite person in the world hasn’t just been sick but has been on the verge of death sick. As in used up all of his sick leave sick. Now he’s back at work, feeling a little better, but still very, very sick. I feel sad for him. 😦

 
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Posted by on December 10, 2014 in Life - Among Other Things

 

Day #232

It’s crazy how life happens. Crazier still is when you create a blog as a means of expressing yourself, an outlet as you will. You use it faithfully every day, even if you only post a single sentence and then something happens. You begin to question whether or not someone you know might stumble upon your little corner of the universe. A part of you fears that you may find yourself judged. You stop writing.

It’s not so bad for a while because you have some people to talk to, other ways of getting your thoughts down. Not to mention that at that point, there’s daylight like all the time and even when there’s not, you’re working nights so you can get up and walk your dog before work without it being creepy and dark on the trails. And that walk and those people, they help you work through the craziness in your head.

Then all that slowly starts to go away.

I’ve got a new job, right? It’s a great job. I really do love it. Sure, like any job it’s got it’s snags but I really do enjoy the feeling of helping people. I had a customer come in the other day… I’ve been helping her with various issues off and on for several weeks now and she comes back in after I’ve helped her with another troubleshoot and she gives me this huge box of chocolates as a thank you. Yeah. I about cried. Why? Because I have some of the best customers.

Anyway. One of the pitfalls is I work during the day. It’s also a perk, but to some degree it’s a pretty big pitfall because I don’t get to take those hour long walks with Luna anymore and it means that I end up struggling to find time to work through all the things I’m trying to juggle. Sometimes, I forget just how important that time was this summer. And those people I’d been talking to, counting on to help give me some advice and support? Yeah, on a lot of levels I feel like my concerns are getting glossed over sometimes in favor of theirs. It makes me a little sad. It puts me in this position where I feel like I have nobody to talk to because my problems just aren’t as important.

The thing is though, they are. Thankfully, one of my biggest sources of stress from the last year is done. Finally. As of the day before Thanksgiving, I am officially divorced. Of course, I still haven’t had a chance to get a copy of the paperwork, let alone go in to the social security office and get my name switched back to my maiden name. Minor problem and inconvenience I suppose.

On the flip side, as the end of the year continues to barrel closer I am now faced with two other, equally large and potentially complicated dilemmas. School and moving out of my brother’s house. I love my brother. I appreciate all that he and Jamie have done for me. But it’s getting to a point where I need to move forward. I know the sort of things I want to continue to do with my life and I can’t do those things if I’m still living with them. But financially, I can’t do both right now. Yes, financial aid will pay for school, but I’m not looking to get that until after winter quarter starts at best. I’d have to pay my tuition out of pocket and be reimbursed. That’s at least a thousand dollars not counting the cost of books and supplies. I’ve run the numbers. Repeatedly. I can’t do both that and rent and still feel comfortable. So the question becomes which is more important to me? School or a place to call mine?

The answer isn’t as complicated as it might seem. I know deep down what it is. More than I want to go back to school, I want to move out of my brother’s house and into the city. There a lot of bonuses to being in the city. One of the biggest? Well, let’s be honest… that’d be the potential ability to see Josh. We haven’t gotten to see each other in close to three weeks now. We still talk a lot via text, but it’s not quite the same as being able to just spend time with one another and let our guards down. Sigh… It’s frustrating. I’m not frustrated with him, just with the situation. That being said, moving… I’m most likely going to need some sort of roommate. The concern is who? Some part of me thinks I have an answer. But it’s a scary one. Josh potentially needs a new roommate. I say potentially but the fact is that he does. Or at least he did as of the last time we got to spend time together.

Damn. My stomach is working itself into knots just thinking about bringing the subject up the next time I get to see him. Being roommates… it just seems like an in person sort of conversation. But the clock is ticking and time is running out for us to have that conversation if it’s going to happen before the end of the year. His semester is finally over but work and his having the plague have done a pretty good job of negating our chances of getting together so far this week.

… I still have so much going on in my head but I’ve got to open tomorrow. I should be sleeping but, instead, I’m waiting for my sheets to dry – I was supposed to be a mid. I should really check them and go to bed. I have to get some sleep.

 
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Posted by on December 9, 2014 in Life - Among Other Things

 

Day #217

Yeah, I know. Been a while

I’ve got lots going on. I always have lots going on. I need to start blogging more. It’ll help me focus. It’s hard to find the time, though, to sit down and just write sometimes. More accurately, I think it’s hard to find the motivation.

Went grocery shopping. Got stuff to make some salad wraps for lunches and snacks for the next week. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my diet and of several things I’ve come to a conclusion. One, I need to start religiously tracking what I’m eating. I know for a fact that I’ve been consuming under 1000 calories most days of the week and that’s a very bad thing. I’m lucky to eat two meals usually. Two, and a follow-up on one, I lose better when I’m tracking. That’s just the bottom line. It’s not because I over eat if I don’t but, rather, because I under eat in terms of both quality and quantity. My carb to fat to protein ratios go out the window. Three, a few weeks back, Josh mentioned that after watching some videos his vegan friend sent him, he had decided to stop eating meat. I’ve actually thought about it a lot over the years but never actually made the change. I’ve come close in that I’ll stop eating anything aside from fish or chicken, but never completely cut out meat. As a side note, he is considering adding fish back into his diet given the health benefits and the fact that you can get local fish that have been processed in both a humane and hygienic fashion pretty easily in this area.

Anyway, I’ve found that, more often than not, I have no desire to eat anything in this house right now. It just doesn’t appeal to me. A lot of it is processed and while I appreciate some good fried food on occasion, I’ve noticed that they cook with a lot of oil in this house. There is nothing wrong with healthy oils but my eggs, for example, don’t need to be cooked in oil… They just don’t.

In an ideal world where I had the money I’d probably go hard-core on a path of whole living… Unfortunately, this is not an ideal world. So I suck it up and move on, I suppose. The point is, I’ve decided to start transitioning into a vegetarian method of eating. Maybe I should say semi-vegetarian? I don’t know where exactly the line gets drawn, but I know I love my dairy products and eggs too much to cut them out. Not to mention that as a baker, it’d be wholly unacceptable to tell me I had to. πŸ˜›

 

Day #160

Yesterday, the scale gave me 197. I didn’t weigh today. Slightly less anxious about starting the new job tomorrow and the ensuing weeks of being in a near-catatonic state while I finish up at Home Depot.

 
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Posted by on September 28, 2014 in Life - Among Other Things

 

Day #157

Scale was between 198 and 199 this morning. Which is impressive given my 2000 calorie day yesterday. πŸ˜›

Got the call back from Verizon yesterday. My first day with them will be Monday. I’m pretty excited and not just because I get to go out and buy new shoes this weekend for work there. πŸ˜› I’ll also be giving Home Depot my notice Monday night since it’ll be the start of a new pay period. I would have done it this week, but with inventory, I figured I’d not add to the stress of management.

The ladies over at 3FC have had a rundown of all guys who have been interested in me or that I’ve been interested in since I started this new chapter in my life five months ago. They all seem to currently be squarely planted in what Toasted has labeled #TeamJ. Speaking of, J and I chatted a little online and, since I wanted to stop by the store and pick up a shirt that was on sale for $3 anyway, I left a little early, planted myself at the Starbucks near his house to read and sent him a message about how I’d be there if he knew anyone who might enjoy a free drink and some company.

The response I got was full of seductive vocabulary like “aforementioned” and “lackadaisical”. God, I love a man with a good vocabulary. Anyway, we ended up spending another couple of hours just sitting there talking. ❀

 
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Posted by on September 25, 2014 in Life - Among Other Things

 

Day #155

Scale says, β€œ199.0 lbs.”

I still need to do my inches (the ones below are from last week), but just thought I’d leave this here.


September Weight: -7.0 lbs
September Inches: -3.0 in

Today’s Measurements:
Neck: 13.5
Chest: 45.0
Under bust: 36.0
Muffin top: 40.5
Waist: 38.0
Hips: 49.0
Thighs: 25.5
Calf: 16.75
Biceps: 14.0
Forearms: 9.75
Wrist: 6.5

Total Inches: 294.5 in

Weekly Inches: -2.0 in
Weekly Weight: -4.0 lbs

 
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Posted by on September 23, 2014 in Measurements, Scale Says